Yesterday someone asked me if it feels like I’m home yesterday and I realized I’m not even sure what that means. What should home feel like? The best way to figure out what makes you happy…take away everything and figure out what you miss and what you want to do most. But, is home a place or a feeling?
Of course life this week has been loads more comfortable than my time in Afghanistan, however real life is always far more complicated and a lot more work then the strict (and often exhausting) schedule offered on deployment.
Since I’ve been home, I’ve been focused on getting cable and Internet connected, cleaning up my back patio, getting a fancy new hair ‘do and now I’m visiting family on a weekend away.
This week I got a new ‘do that has gotten an embarrassing number of compliments which is insanely flattering but… having just returned from an environment where I tried to blend in to the background, walk with blinders on and not draw any attention while trying to get food at the chow hall and do all the things the guys did. Finding the attention flattering now and remembering that taking the time to look nice does not equate to some sort of selfishness or weakness like it felt like there is going to take some getting used to again. First world problems, right?
I went to a movie by myself this week because I wanted to see it and had no one to see it with. I think my idea of what home should feel like is more than a place, but the feeling of complete comfort with myself and with another amazing person… hopefully someday.